Student Author – Amy, http://rootedandwildwellness.com/
The resistance is real—or at least, I used to say that and truly believe it. Stick with me while I work through explaining my experience and view on resistance in breathwork!
Experiencing Resistance in My Breathwork Training Journey
Since embarking on the breathwork facilitator training journey I must admit that I experienced an increase in resistance and admittedly struggled to see past it:
- I would instantly feel resistance when being asked by my teacher Megan if I could Angel for her…oh my mind would come up with some crazy excuses that my mind was able to convince me were real and valid.
- I would also experience resistance to joining as a breather at in-person sessions.
- I would come up with all kinds of tasks that ‘needed’ to be done before I gave myself that space to join a breathwork from the Breathing Space library – which was a mandatory part of our training.
I became exhausted from all of this resistance! I started to believe that breathwork wasn’t for me, that I was in the wrong space and that if I actually started to offer breathworks, I would burn out in no time because of how exhausted I was just trying to convince myself to do them.
Internal Struggles and Self-Doubt
I would then find myself beating myself up for dedicating money and time to another training program that wasn’t the one for me. I would tell myself that I was scattered, non-committal and that I lacked drive…I literally started attacking myself as a person simply because I trusted and believed that the resistance was a real and valid indicator of what I was supposed to be doing.
Understanding Resistance in Breathwork
A Logical Beginning
I remember then trying to work through it logically and connecting it to what I knew about our ego and behaviours. Connected Breathwork is something that we know is great for our bodies, mind and soul, and anytime we actively pursue something so beneficial for our growth, our egos jump in and honour its role of keeping us ‘safe’ and in the space of the known. So it makes perfect sense that resistance would increase.
The Logical Explanation or Resistance Discarded
But what did I do with this logical explanation? Well, I threw it out the window, I tossed it in the trash as I was genuinely convinced that the resistance to breathwork was arising simply as an indicator that it wasn’t right for me and that I should trust in my body and its feelings.
Listening to the Body
Now I don’t know about you, but when I tell myself that I should listen to my body and that it is wise and knows what I need, I can go down this rabbit hole of convincing myself that this is what the felt sense is. This is what we have learned in this program and what we are striving to reignite within ourselves. There is so much talk and emphasis out there right now on connecting with the body, trusting in our innate wisdom that does not come from logic. So ya, I was convinced that this resistance was real, and it was a real felt sense indicator to not show up and to not pursue becoming a facilitator.
The journey has been an internal rollercoaster to say the least!
A Shift in Perspective
The change in perspective, regarding resistance, that I have learned on this journey is that resistance is just a feeling that can be manufactured. And because my resistance was just a manufactured feeling, I have the power through my choice to believe in it, to accept it as real and use it as a felt sense. Or I could recognize it and use it as a tool that alerts me to tune into my mind chatter.
Breaking it Down
When I broke it down and tuned into the moment right when I was asked to Angel (assist) a breathwork, or join a local breathwork, or even felt the nudge to do a breathwork from the library, in those few seconds before my mind had the chance to work through all the pros and cons or, more commonly, the negative ‘what if’s’, I would feel excitement, expansion, and almost giddy.
From Excitement to Resistance
The second I became unconscious to the initial feeling, the mind chatter placed a spotlight on my fears, igniting the feelings of resistance to arise. So it came down to me bypassing the actual felt sense or messages from my body, to going straight to old stories and old beliefs that would artificially create this felt sense of resistance.
The Final Conclusion
And so the conclusion I finally came to was that the resistance isn’t real; it’s manufactured!
